Why I write...even when I don't want to.

I post a Quote of the Week every Monday on my Facebook page and the one I posted tonight was this...

"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." ~ Carlos Castaneda

Those of you who know me well know that I believe everything happens for a reason. Thankfully a friend of mine posted this just when I needed it the most.

The past three months have been very stressful for me for a variety of reasons. But, my writing (and my characters) have helped me get through the bulk of it. However, the past month in particular has been rocky. Just when I got through one crisis with one part of my family, another one reared it's ugly head. I'm still dealing with that situation right now, and let me tell you...it's been a dark couple of days.

Tonight I was feeling low...hitting a place I have heard about, but haven't really been to until recently. I knew I wasn't going to be working on Cat, or any of my other stories, but I hid away at one of my local Starbucks for half an hour with my writing notebook just in case.

My journaling is sporadic at best (as proven by my blogging skills). I was never one of those people who grew up using a journal as an outlet. Hell, I had a hard enough time keeping a diary. But occasionally I need to, and this was one of those times. At first I wrote all the woe-is-me crap I had been feeling. Wallowing is not a luxury I can afford with six other people living in my house. Once I got all the dark stuff out, I pulled up my Facebook on my phone and found a friend had posted the quote above.

And that was what I needed to hear.

I flipped to the next page and started writing out all the ways I could deal with the situation I'm facing, and you know what? I had filled out the same amount of space on each page...had spent the same amount of time on writing out the bad feelings vs. the possible solutions. But the way I felt after writing each of them was drastically different.

So I can honestly say I will always write, whether I want to or not, because in some way it helps me. Regardless of it's about Cat dealing with curve ball, Sophia figuring out how juggle Nathan and Mac, Hope fighting for her life...

Or me learning how to live mine.